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8 Easy Ways You Can Boost Your Libido During the Menopause

Oct 27, 2017

Last week I was lucky enough to deliver a training workshop to a group of therapists in Nottingham to help them help more women facing hormonal issues (you might have seen the photos on Facebook or read about it in my newsletter).

Anyway, during the workshop, one participant brought up the topic of sex, and confessed that she doesn’t have a libido at all and she isn’t bothered about it.

Now there’s nothing too unusual in this- many women experience a reduced libido in their lives, especially during the menopausal years. But what she doesn’t realise is that she doesn’t have to just do her best to tolerate her low libido- she can actually lift it back to its previous levels and start enjoying her sex life once again.

I know that low libido is a problem that many of you ladies face too so I thought I’d address that here for you today. I’ll share with you some really easy steps you can take to boost your libido, enjoy your sex life more and really connect with you partner. How does that sound?

What is the connection between low libido and a hormonal imbalance?

It’s becoming increasingly common for us women to suffer from hormonal imbalances. This is likely due to the modern lifestyle, the amount of stress that many of us are under, and a whole host of other factors.

However, pre-existing hormonal imbalances tend to show themselves more readily when we hit the menopausal years and the menopause itself can trigger hormonal imbalances as the body seeks to find balance again. This can lead to all kinds of symptoms which can affect your libido, your sex drive and your enjoyment of sex itself. This includes:  

You might experience vaginal dryness and tightness-  Lower oestrogen levels can cause thinning of vaginal tissue, vaginal atrophy means sex can be uncomfortable and altered hormonal levels affect your response

Your testosterone and oestrogen levels drop- this means that you just don’t get as aroused as you used to

You’re suffering with all of those menopause symptoms- you’re hardly going to be ‘in the mood’ when you’re suffering with hot flushes, low mood, fatigue, low self-esteem and all those other menopause symptoms.  

Why sex and orgasms are important for us girls

Just like the lady at my workshop, you might feel like you’re fighting a losing battle when you see that list and you’d be better off just switching to single beds or accepting that your sexual days are over.

But nothing could be further than the truth.

Apart from feeling wonderful, sex has many health benefits that could actually help reduce your menopausal symptoms, minimise stress and also keep you looking younger. This is because sex releases oxytocin, as we mentioned before, it has multiple pain-relieving effects, it boosts your blood flow to strengthen your heart and keep your skin plump and youthful and it even helps improve your mood, memory AND it boosts testosterone and oestrogen production!

Sounds like a great excuse to get ‘cosy’ with our partners, don’t you think? So the big question is, what do we need to do to boost our libidos? It’s time for me to explain.

How to boost your libido and enjoy sex again

1. Talk to your partner

Before anything else, you really must open up to your partner, and share with him or her the changes that you’re experiencing. Be honest about how you’re feeling and what is happening within your body and lean on them as much as you feel able. What you are going through during this time, not just with sex but also those other symptoms of the menopause, it affects them too. They care about you, they want you to feel healthy and happy and they will be there to support you when you need it. When it comes to sex, they can also go much more slowly and become more sensitive to your needs.

 

2. Focus on play

A great, satisfying sex life isn’t just about penetration- it’s about being intimate with your partner. So why not explore kissing, caressing and other non-sexual acts of intimacy too? It will feel wonderful and remind you that you are still a gorgeous, desirable, sexy, vibrant woman!

When you connect with your partner in this way, your body releases the so-called ‘cuddle hormone’ oxytocin. It’s the same one that helps you bond with your newborn and breastfeed, it plays a role in trust, recognition and sexual arousal and will help further strengthen your relationship with your partner.

At the same time, play is a great form of stress relief which can help calm your stress hormones and help you relax. Sounds like a great excuse for a cuddle if you ask me!

 

3. Find time to relax

We’ve all had times where life has been particularly stressful, and sex has ended up being the very last thing on your mind. This is because stress triggers a cascade of reactions in the body, including a release of so-called stress hormones such as cortisol which can affect your overall hormonal balance.

And as you know, a hormonal imbalance can only lead to one thing- symptoms. The greater your stress, the more likely it is that you’ll suffer more with those hot flushes, weight gain, low mood, and yes, a low libidio too.

Reduce the stress in your life and you’ll feel much better. Lean on friends and loved ones for support, ask for help when life gets overwhelming, wind back your work schedule (if you can afford to), develop a healthy stress-reducing practice like yoga, meditation, taking nice long walks, reading a good book, curling up next to the fire, having a massage of whatever works for you.

You might also like to turn to superfoods like Maca. Studies have shown that Maca works as a potent adaptogen (helps you cope better with stress in your life) as well as having a libido-boosting effect. Speak to a herbalist if you think Maca might be for you.

 

4. Tackle your sleep issues

Adequate sleep is fundamental for a healthy body, mind and libido. Because let’s face it- not many of us are ‘in the mood’ when we’re completely EXHAUSTED!

So make sleep a priority for you- get to bed early, sleep at least 6-8 hours per night, more if you have time and really enjoy its positive healing effects. Consider having a 'sleepcation' too- it’s a great way to soothe your body clock, de-stress and feel energized again.


*If you’re struggling to get a good night’s sleep, please get in touch. I run regular sleep workshops and online programmes and I’d love to help you.*

 

5. Do Knack exercises to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles

The pelvic floor is a group of muscles which act as a ‘hammock’ for your pelvic organs and run right the way from your tailbone to your pubic bone and between your hips. (They’re the muscles that you were instructed to exercise after childbirth.)

These muscles can weaken over time, and lead to all kinds of uncomfortable symptoms like incontinence, leaking and also a loss of sensation during sex. So if you want to enjoy your sex life more, we need to start strengthening these muscles.

You can do this by practicing ‘Knack’ exercises. Here’s how:

  • Exhale completely
  • Squeeze your pelvic floor tightly
  • Cough, and maintain your pelvic floor
  • Repeat whenever you get chance

Watch this video by our friends at Perfect Pelvic Floor for an explanation on how to do it.

 

6. Lubricants

A lack of lubrication is a common problem for menopausal women, but there’s absolutely no reason to let it stand between you and an awesome sex life!

Just treat yourself to a natural lubricant from your pharmacy, supermarket or online store and then put it to use. 

 

7. Exercise

According to fitness.com, studies have shown that “women who frequently exercise become aroused more quickly and are able to reach an orgasm faster and more intensely.” This means that exercise is well worth including if you want to boost your libido.

The best news is that you don’t have to be slogging it out at the gym for hour after hour- even 30 minutes of weight-bearing exercise three times per week will vastly improve your sex life.

But why is exercise so good for your libido?

Primarily, it comes down to the fact that exercise helps boosts your blood flow and gets your heart healthy- both useful parts of a great sex life. It also helps get endorphins flowing, lifts your mood and even helps your hormones to rebalance. What could be better?

 

8. Rebalance with food

It’s really important that we’re eating a diet that’s high in nutrition and low in junk foods, regardless of where we are in our lives. However, this becomes especially important at certain times in our life, such as during our childbearing years and during the menopause as our requirements increase.

That’s why I’d recommend that you take a long hard look at your diet and see if you could make some adjustments. Are you eating as much fresh food as possible? Are you relying on processed foods? Could you cut back on your sugar intake or skip that fat-laden takeaway this week?

To boost your libido and improve your sex life, you should also think about adding certain foods.

I’d suggest you include:

  • Fermented foods like Kefir, Kombucha, Sauerkraut, Kimchi and Tempeh for optimal gut health
  • Healthy fats for hormone production and balance, as well as a healthy nervous system
  • Foods containing the essential fatty acid, omega 3 such as fish oil, flaxseed, nuts and seeds for a libido boost.

You can still enjoy a healthy libido and wonderful sex life, whether you’re peri-menopausal, menopausal or beyond.

Start by focusing on one of these tips, and start putting it into action right away. Go stock up on healthy food, make an appointment for a massage, call up a friend, talk to your partner, get some exercise and learn how to do those ‘Knacks’ and you’ll soon notice a difference.  

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