Why You Can (And Should) Have an Empowered Childbirth

The birth of my daughter should have been so wonderful, but instead it was a complete disaster.

I wish I could have taken control. I wish I could have been that woman who took a deep breath, felt confident and informed of her choices, and then stood up to the doctors and the midwives to get what she believed to be right.

But instead, I didn’t.

I couldn’t. I was vulnerable. I was afraid. And as a young woman in the middle of scary and uncomfortable contractions, I could barely think straight.

So when they gave me a sleeping pill and told me it would still be a long time before I would meet my little girl, I didn’t dare argue. After all, they were the ones that went to medical school so they knew what was best, right? I shouldn’t listen to my own body. So I popped the pill and closed my eyes, desperately trying to get some rest.

This was the very thing that did so much damaged, jeopardized my entire labour, affected the bonding process and made breastfeeding so much harder.

Just an hour of two later, my contractions are getting increasingly intense and closer together, and my daughter is ready to be born. I’m like a zombie- I’m drifting in and out of sleep and I am practically useless. But somehow, I just about manage to push and my wonderful child is born.

Luckily, my story ended happily and although there were issues with her sleeping excessively, and unable to latch on in the beginning, I do now share a wonderfully close bond with her.

I want you to enjoy a more positive labour than I did. I want you to be well-informed about your choices. I want you to feel empowered, confident and focused when it comes to welcoming your own child into the world. I wasn’t quite that lucky but you will be, I promise.
 

Ease Your Labour By Taking Control 

Your unborn child needs you to take control.

From the very beginning when you created her life, through supporting her rapidly growing and developing body deep within your own, to making healthy choices about your food and lifestyle, she has completely relied upon you in every way.

And now she needs you to do everything you can to help her slip into the world joyfully and safely.

You see, having a great pregnancy and childbirth isn’t just down to ‘the luck of the draw’. It’s about the choices you make, your circumstances and how you feel inside. You really can take control and make this exciting time easier, happier and maybe even pain-free. Your apprehension and fear will vanish, your confidence levels will shoot up, those healthy birth hormones will get a boost and you’ll have some really beautiful memories that you can cherish.

Sounds good, doesn’t it?

You see, your thoughts and emotions, your apprehensions or fears, your wants and needs, they all impact upon your experience of childbirth. Most of us cycle through a rainbow of emotions when we are pregnant and our expectations of labour are no different.

We feel afraid that it will hurt too much, we worry about the safety of our child and ourselves, and if we admit it, we are secretly scared that we won’t be able to do it when it comes to the crunch.

Our bodies respond to these emotions physically, so when we are fearful, worried or uncomfortable, or even lacking in that important inner belief and trust in our bodies, stress hormones like cortisol are released into the bloodstream which reduce the presence of the birth hormone oxytocin, and as a result can make the birth of your child longer and more arduous.
 
But how can you take control when you feel scared, vulnerable or maybe even in pain? You don’t know your options, you don’t know what is best for you all as a family, and you don’t know what to expect. The answer is clear- you can’t.

Besides, you often don’t feel that it’s your place to make ‘demands’ and so are more likely just to keep your mouth shut and just try to get on with it.

It’s a challenging time so it’s important to think carefully about things well in advance of your due date so you can become calmer, more confident and feel better prepared.
 

How To Empower Your Labour

 Many of the women I’ve worked with in the past have told me that by following my advice, they actually ended up looking forward to the birth instead of dreading it, and you can too. There are many ways that you can take control, feel less fear and be true to your inner desires without the need to compromise just because someone tells you to. Here are my top tips to have an empowered birth:

#1: Write a birth plan

To get started, take it right back to the basics and think what your perfect birth would look like.Think of it all in its finer details- where would you be? Who will be with you? What tools and techniques will you use to manage the birth? Do you have special lighting or music in mind? Who will cut the cord? Questions like this will help you to clarify what you want.

Next write this all down in a birth plan, share the details with your nearest and dearest, and keep it with you for when contractions start.

#2: Beat your fears using visualization & anchoring

In order to get over those fears and apprehensions, you’re going to need to put some work in. It’s no good burying your head in the sand until the time comes. You need to action it now.

Luckily, there are several brilliant tools and techniques that you can use to make a difference to how you are feeling and instill that sense of confidence and readiness that you are looking for.

One of the best tools I teach my clients for overcoming their fears relating to childbirth is positive visualization. You might have already heard of it as the psychological tool used by some of our top athletes, and for a good reason too. It not only motivates and empowers you, but also psychologically prepares you for the realities of birth, and helps to keep you calm and confident throughout.

A technique called anchoring is also a very effective tool that we can use. This is a way of triggering a psychological ‘safe place’ by using a stimulus. So should you feel particularly uncomfortable, in need of reassurance or low on self-belief, anchoring can help you to become calmer, more prepared and in control once again.

#3: Enjoy the support of your birth partner

You need to have an awesome birth partner if you’re aiming for an easier and quicker labour. Choose wisely and ensure that you can trust that person to support you throughout, and always keep your best interests in mind.

They need to be your cheerleader, to offer support when you need it, to be able to prompt you to use some of the fabulous techniques I can teach you, and they can also help you maintain control should you be faced with unexpected challenges.

#4: Use effective breathing techniques

Effective breathing will be invaluable when it comes to the birth of your baby. Not only does it calm and relax your body, it also oxygenates your blood so you are stronger for the birth, but it can also work with your contractions to deliver your baby easily and safely. This is not like the usual ‘pant-and-push’ technique taught at antenatal classes, and is incredible effective for both you and your baby. Please pop a message over to me if you’d like to know more.

A woman in control of her childbirth is a well-informed, confident and focused one, and she knows what matters to her as well as how to best birth her baby. And that woman is you.

The power to have the birth of your dreams is right there within you. You only need to unlock it, and I can help you to do just that. Please contact me to find out more about free introductory workshops in your area or enjoy my full support.